3.19.2008

Thursday Thirteen


Thirteen Things I whispered to Latte yesterday about getting back at the Woman

1.  To get revenge on the Woman you must do something totally out of the ordinary she can't possibly blame you.
2.  Choose something really important to her to exact your revenge.  When I was a kitten I chewed the AM's speaker and got in SERIOUS trouble.  It was worth it as he was the NOT so Awesome Man then.
3.  Give her blinky eyes and purr at her.  That always works as she'll feel really guilty.
4.  Yakk somewhere in her path.  Especially a nice wet one.
5.  Place poo about the house in areas like the dinning room and hallway.
6.  Lie on her work clothes and really shed a lot.
7.  Chew on wires at 3am.  This one may get you kicked out of the snuggle room but if it does be sure to hide under the bed so she spends 15 minutes getting you out.
8.  Act sick.  But not too sick- you don't want to have to go to the VET, just sick enough so that guilt kicks in.
9.  Leave the most rank poo.  There is no way she can ignore you then.
10.  Put the bitey on her ankle when she goes to take a shower.  Make sure you run up really fast- bite- then run away.
11.  Scream at the walls like they're crawling with bugs.  This one serves two purposes- makes her move and hopefully wake up AND gets her scared of what she will find.
12.  Put your poop hole on her pillow and drag it around a bit.
13.  Pretend that you want to snuggle and dig around and around and around, circle, sniff, work really hard at it until Kaze leaves and then you leave too.  Then there are no cats in her lap.
Anycats feel free to use these techniques as you see fit!

14 comments:

DK & The Fluffies said...

oooOOOOoo we love to do #7. We'll hop all over DKM at 2:30am until she can't stand it any more then she tries to catch us and put us in the bunny prison... it's very funny to watch her crawling around trying to catch us!

Daisy said...

I want to do ALL of those things! Thanks for the good ideas.

Diamond Emerald-Eyes said...

I just pee on the bed. It gets the point acrossed.

Junior said...

Wow! You have some truly great ideas there! I will have to see if I can use some of these!

PB & J said...

Chase, you are an evil genius!

Snickers said...

Me do #3 and 13 an 9 an 11 an 6 an 7! Me will tries some udder one!

We gots the prizes! Tanks you sooooooooooo much! Da nip was FANTASTIC! Me had great fun wif it, cept whens I ran into da speaker head first. Mommy says at least me has a hards head. Sistor and me played dive bomber on da toys you sents for hours! ~purrrrrs Empress

Angus said...

I like #10 a lot..I'm a past master at the Shanghai Hai-ya! She never sees me coming until she feels the pain!

Grr, Midnight & Cocoa said...

Excellent list! We can't wait to find out which one(s) he tries!

Cheysuli and gemini said...

All excellent suggestions.

Titus said...

EG's taking lots of notes, Chase. heh

Forty Paws said...

OH MY GAWD! THERE IS A GHOST IN THIS PICTURE!!!!!

Ok, weze crakin up ofer #12.

Luf, Us

The Meezers said...

those are all excellent ideas Chase! we're taking notes

Derby said...

Chase you are a devious little guy!

SophieKitty said...

Wow...those ideas are kinda evil! I like 'em!