Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I whispered to Latte yesterday about getting back at the Woman

1.  To get revenge on the Woman you must do something totally out of the ordinary she can't possibly blame you.

2.  Choose something really important to her to exact your revenge.  When I was a kitten I chewed the AM's speaker and got in SERIOUS trouble.  It was worth it as he was the NOT so Awesome Man then.

3.  Give her blinky eyes and purr at her.  That always works as she'll feel really guilty.

4.  Yakk somewhere in her path.  Especially a nice wet one.

5.  Place poo about the house in areas like the dinning room and hallway.

6.  Lie on her work clothes and really shed a lot.

7.  Chew on wires at 3am.  This one may get you kicked out of the snuggle room but if it does be sure to hide under the bed so she spends 15 minutes getting you out.

8.  Act sick.  But not too sick- you don't want to have to go to the VET, just sick enough so that guilt kicks in.

9.  Leave the most rank poo.  There is no way she can ignore you then.

10.  Put the bitey on her ankle when she goes to take a shower.  Make sure you run up really fast- bite- then run away.

11.  Scream at the walls like they're crawling with bugs.  This one serves two purposes- makes her move and hopefully wake up AND gets her scared of what she will find.

12.  Put your poop hole on her pillow and drag it around a bit.

13.  Pretend that you want to snuggle and dig around and around and around, circle, sniff, work really hard at it until Kaze leaves and then you leave too.  Then there are no cats in her lap.

Anycats feel free to use these techniques as you see fit!