How to terrfiy humans

I like to share my many years of experience freaking out humans. I've had a lot of practice especially with the Woman. The other morning I was sleeping with my eyes open and taking slow shallow breaths so I looked something like this:

(Reenactment of actual events! And because Bonnie likes pictures of me.)


It was early and the Woman had just gotten out of bed to do her cat head count which she does every morning. There I was sleeping peacefully when she saw me and stopped dead in her tracks. She held her breath and stared really closely at me. I tried to hold my breath to really freak her out. Just when it looked like she was going to poke me.....I winked at her. Haha!!!! It was hilarious! She went and yelled at the Awesome Man that "his cat" was trying to give her a heart attack.

Ahh....I forgot how fun it is to freak her out. So this morning, I decided to sleep in the bathroom sink. I haven't done that for a while but its great to see her jump when she discovers me!

In answer to the SAT questions: Normally she wouldn't share her score from the SAT but she feels that everyone should know how subjective and pointless that test is. She got a 1040 the time Jasmine peed on her. She took the exam a second time and got a 1070. Those are not great scores. She graduated in the top 10% of her high school class and she was Phi Beta Kappa from college graduating from both high school and college with over a 3.7 GPA. Obviously she's not a dummy (though she is always saying she is so I don't know why we can't believe her) so that test really isn't indicative of intelligence (again, I think it is- she's pretty dumb).