Stinky Goodness

Hehe...still freaking the woman out! She completely deserves it. Did you know that only Latte & Kaze get stinky goodness?? Its true! The Woman claims its because they have medicine in their food but that's just ridiculous, its obvious she doesn't love me as much. So I've got a system to circumvent her ideas.

Little Miss Princess Kaze gets to eat in her own private dining room these days. So the Woman puts Latte's food down and then takes Kaze and her dish upstairs. When they're on the way upstairs I go take over Latte's breakfast because I'm the Man Cat and he does whatever I say. So I scarf scarf scarf until she comes downstairs and shoves me away. She still hasn't figured out my system because I act like I don't care what's going on. I'm soooo much smarter than her. Sigh...when is she going to accept that? I'd settle for my own dish of stinky goodness for the time being.

How to terrfiy humans

I like to share my many years of experience freaking out humans. I've had a lot of practice especially with the Woman. The other morning I was sleeping with my eyes open and taking slow shallow breaths so I looked something like this:

(Reenactment of actual events! And because Bonnie likes pictures of me.)


It was early and the Woman had just gotten out of bed to do her cat head count which she does every morning. There I was sleeping peacefully when she saw me and stopped dead in her tracks. She held her breath and stared really closely at me. I tried to hold my breath to really freak her out. Just when it looked like she was going to poke me.....I winked at her. Haha!!!! It was hilarious! She went and yelled at the Awesome Man that "his cat" was trying to give her a heart attack.

Ahh....I forgot how fun it is to freak her out. So this morning, I decided to sleep in the bathroom sink. I haven't done that for a while but its great to see her jump when she discovers me!

In answer to the SAT questions: Normally she wouldn't share her score from the SAT but she feels that everyone should know how subjective and pointless that test is. She got a 1040 the time Jasmine peed on her. She took the exam a second time and got a 1070. Those are not great scores. She graduated in the top 10% of her high school class and she was Phi Beta Kappa from college graduating from both high school and college with over a 3.7 GPA. Obviously she's not a dummy (though she is always saying she is so I don't know why we can't believe her) so that test really isn't indicative of intelligence (again, I think it is- she's pretty dumb).

Tuxie Tuesday

This is Jasmine. She is my Aunt I guess. She used to be the Woman's cat when she was living with our grandma. Jasmine is INSANE. Oh no, I mean that. She is scared of everyone and everything and she likes to pee on stuff when she's scared.

One time the Lap Lady had to get up early for a big test (the SAT she said) on a Saturday morning. Apparently when you're 17 getting up on Saturday morning isn't fun. It was January so she put on a sweatshirt and her winter coat and went to the school to take the test. She was nervous as she doesn't like standardized tests. As she was waiting in the school lobby she smelled this familiar smell that she couldn't quite recognize. When she was assigned a room to take the test in she took her coat off and discovered Jasmine's good luck present. Jasmine had PEED on the Woman's jacket and it soaked into the lining and into her sweat shirt. So the Woman had to take the test smelling like cat pee and wearing a wet sweatshirt covered in cat pee.

Jasmine is much better about peeing now but she still licks all of the fur off of her belly as a nervous reaction and she's quite plump. Jasmine is one of a pair of Tuxies and the other cat's name is Maestro and he has a little white mustache.

Man Cat Monday

(We have snow and ice so I wanted to make sure this got posted)


Ah...a nice sunbeam to show off my masculine form. Ahem, pay no attention to the little "pouch" its all fur, I swear!

Bonnie's Meme

A) Four places I have lived:
Pelham, MA
Amherst, MA
Lumberton, NJ
Riverton, NJ

B) Four things I love to watch:
The people "picking up"
Latte & Kaze being DUMB (constant)
Squirrels

C) Four places I have been outside my home:
The kennel in Mass.
The Woman's mother's house
The vet in MA
The vet in NJ

D) Four websites I visit daily:
Blogging friends (yes I check everyone's blog every week day!)
Photobucket
SICC
Feline Fancy

E) Four of my favorite foods:
TURKEY!!!
Temptations
Innova Evo mixed with Purina Pro Plan Indoor
Tuna flakes

F) Four places I would rather be right now:
In the sun.
In the Millie Bed.
On the bed the Woman made for us.
On the arm of the couch.

G) Four toys I have owned and played with:
The Awsome Man.
Catnip banana
Laser pointer
Fury mice (I eat their tails in 20 seconds)

H) Four nicknames my staff have tried to assign me:
Stinky Minky
Chase Face
Minkles
Squirrel Rat

I) Regarding Catnip:
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it
Answer: 1

J) Regarding Cat Grass:
Love it
It's nice
Could take it or leave it
Don't like it or can't have it
Answer: 3

K) First four things I'd buy after winning the lottery:
Catnip Farm
A house to live for just me and the Awesome Man.
Lifetime supply of Temptations
An outdoor enclosure

L) Four things I do besides eat, sleep, and litterbox:
Play with people and cats.
Watch the squirrels outside.
Blog.
Stare into space (or so they think)

M) Four things I want to do this summer:
Go out in the stroller.
Sit in open windows.
Go out on the front sun porch.
Ship Kaze back where she came from

N) My four most prized possessions that have limited value to anyone else:
Plastic bags.
The Woman's sweaters (I pretend they are Charmers.)
The couch's arms.
The area above the cabinets in the kitchen.

O) What I’m going to do before tomorrow is over:
Play the bite game with the Awesome Man.
Hide from the vacuum.
Sleep in sunny spots.
Run around with Latte & Kaze.

P) Which of the following is your favorite place to hide and play?
Paper bags
Plastic bags
Boxes
Other (please describe)
Answer: 3

Q) Four other "pets" your staff have kept with you:
Zuzu the Golden Retriever.
Latte the energizer bunny.
Kaze the brat.
Snap (she's a horse).

R) Four furiends I tag to respond:
Rocky the Gutter Cat
Pounce from Katnippia
Gemini (because Chey always gets the attention)
The Big Piney Woods Girls


As Bonnie said, yes its long but its fun too so answer what you want and leave answers blank. Its OK to nap here and there.

The Red Boxes

They aren't back, they have just never left. I suppose it would be an understatement to say the People are lazy. They've been back about 10 days and they still have not completely unpacked. Not that I'm complaining- the red boxes with clothes in them are actually quite comfortable. They're really warm and snuggly so I've been sleeping there at night. I'd like to say the People have left it there because of the comfort I derive from sleeping there, but I'm not going to delude anyone- they are just plain lazy. I suppose this means it will be a whole house cleaning weekend so I'll have to hide a lot when the cat eating monster comes out.

Thanks to everyone who came to the party! It was a fairly small gathering of friends but it was rocking! Sadly I think the box is leaving but it was fun while it lasted!

HUGE Box!

OK, I'm planning a party going on RIGHT NOW until the Awesome Man gets home from work. What is worth a huge immediate party? A GINORMOUS box is in the dinning room. I'm talking HUGE! Our final ginormous TV came in it and now its empty and it has great paw holes to scratch and plastic straps to chew on and it can hold like 25 cats on top without collapsing. It is the best box I've ever seen; and we've moved around a lot. So come on over and party everyone! The Charmers are especially invited into the private VIP lounge INSIDE the box. Only Latte knows how to get in there but he said he'd show me the secret if I get enough people here (and of course he's thinking Chey).

OK, its bigger than this one even because the new TV is 57".

Wordless Wednesday

Here is what I think of the Woman

Here I am hanging out with the Awesome Man. He was reading the paper so I wanted to sit next to him. I felt it was also a nice opportunity to place my tail (and assorted back end parts) right where the woman always sits. And yes, my entire tail is on the couch, even the low low part. Hehehe......It was nice of her to take this picture and not get too mad at me. As Jeter would say...I'm still laffin' & laffin'.

Gifts!

My very special Charmer Bonnie (and her brother Victor) held a contest for their 20,000th visitor and it was me! Victor did a great job of testing the packaging (thanks dude) and they sent me the bestest stuff!

I got a nip pad, with primo nip! Sadly, Latte has been running around with it over his head and back acting like we can't see him. Sigh... I got this great nip filled tube that I licked and licked and licked until it was soggy. They sent me 3 shmousies and of course Latte stole the black one and lost it in 30 seconds. The Awesome Man yelled at him for that because its lodged under the couch now. Bonnie also sent a little package of Wellness food which we've been meaning to try for a while. Bonnie also made me this beautiful card! Thanks guys, it was wonderful of you and you picked out the best things that I truly love. Yes, the others like them too of course.

Man Cat Monday

Man Cats can be snuggly, after all, the ladies like that sort of thing. I've been spending most of my nights in the Millie Bed because:
1. It is comfy and fits me perfectly.
2. It is in front of a heater vent.
3. The other cats are upstairs in the bed.

Clean Up Crew

Its a hard job but someone has to do it. As I mentioned yesterday, Kaze & Latte are not very wise. I would expect them to at least understand that when stinky goodness is in front of you- eat it! But, they're just too young to understand I suppose. So I go around and clean up the stinky goodness they don't eat. I know, I know, its a HARD job and it does exhaust me. The Woman actually appreciates my efforts and I get a tasty snack.

Of course I do get jealous when the Woman sprinkles Temptations on Latte's food to get him to eat. What, he gets treats just because he's eating???? Maybe he's actually smart about that.... And then Kaze gets her own private dining room since she would rather play than eat. But I'm the dependable one who will always eat the food. I'm reliable and very devoted to my duties.

Wisdom- not something Latte & Kaze have

Sometimes I just have to stare at Latte or Kaze and wonder what the heck they are thinking. I mean, why on earth do they do the stupid things they do? Sure I like to play but I don't leap into the air risking bodily harm just to chase after a ribbon. I like to wrestle but I don't just leap crazily at another cat. You must properly stalk and make a plan. It is like they just react without thinking about consequences. I guess that's what makes me a Big Man Cat because I'm always thinking of the consequences of my actions. If I jump up on that chair will it be comfortable? Will I be bothered by people or other cats? Is there a soft bed there? These are just some of the things I consider before choosing something as important as a napping spot. So I just watch them and wonder what the heck they are thinking. Then I curl up and take another nap and dream of my Charmers.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day to my Charmers! I love each and every one of you very much. I'm a very lucky Man Cat to have so many gorgeous women cats who like me. I'm going to sit here and purr for you all day long.

Tabby Tuesday

It is so good to be back. I had to take charge of the whole house while the Awesome Man wasn't around. The Woman was gone too, so I also had to oversee her duties as well. I also had to properly welcome the People home so I've been sitting on the couch right next to the Woman showing her that I like when she's here (she knows where the treats live).

I was very lucky that Bonnie came over to snuggle with me a lot so I wasn't too cranky just being with the idiots cats (Latte & Kaze). I have a special Valentine I'll be posting tomorrow to all of my Charmers. I missed all of you ladies quite a ton!!!

Ah...they're finally home.

I'm sitting over the Woman's shoulder supervising the line to blog. I've been patient because Kaze demanded to go first so she could tell Mao she was home right away. Things are fine here, nothing really exciting happened which is how I like it. Bonnie teleported over to keep me company quite a bit and that was wonderful. Grandma fed us which was cool and she also pet us and came over twice a day.

So I'm back!! Lets all party Charmers!!! Wooohooo!! Alright, time to go bug the Awesome Man to see what he brought me. He smells like another Big Man Cat and that is soooo uncool.

Wordless Wednesday

Tabby Tuesday

I'm going to miss the Awesome Man. The red boxes are out, they packed, and the cat carrier is nowhere to be seen. See, I like to travel with them so I know its bad when the carrier isn't around. He said they will be gone from Wednesday to Monday and we won't be able to blog or attend the Valentine's Day party. I'll check in tomorrow morning but then I won't be back until next Tuesday. I'm going to miss all of my friends and especially my Charmers!

OK, take this Siberian Weather back to Russia & Man Cat Monday

It was 12 degrees this morning. Normally, the high would be in the 40's today but we're looking at 18 as a high. I'm currently staring at a wall trying to will the weather to get warmer. Not for me per se, but to keep Kaze from trying to sap my warmth for the rest of the day. I know she's going to keep trying to sneak up on me sleeping and I'm going to have to keep getting up to get away from her.

Sigh...I miss last night. I was snuggling with Bonnie & Pounce at the Superbowl Party- that was heaven. Now I'm back home with these two snivling thin coated cats. Even Latte's ears are cold. I've told them to buck up, I mean, I survived these temps with no heater. I actually had to snuggle under the covers with the Woman to stay warm. THAT wasn't fun, this is doable. These young generations just don't appreciate things.

Yet another example of why I'm King of the House

The Awesome Man likes to yell at cats when we do something we're not supposed to do (according to him). He acts all surprised and says things like "L-L-ATTE!! Gi-GiT-GIT DOWN! Sigh." Notice how I used the main culprit for getting on things- Latte. If the Awesome Man gets annoyed with me he simply says "Chase." in his special tone and I just start to purr and poof my tail and then he can't be mad. He lets me do whatever I want. I mean, last night, I took up the back half of his side of the couch and he didn't even say anything at all. If that had been Kaze, she would have been gone in the amount of time it takes me to twitch my tail. So yeah, I can do whatever I want since I've got the Awesome Man on my side. He didn't even say anything about me stealing the other cat's stinky goodness.

Valentine's Day

Its been freezing around her and I haven't moved from the warm spot except to eat and go to the box. Its supposed to snow here today and it would be really cool if the Awesome Man came home early but that won't happen, he's really married to his work.

I was reading up on Skeezix's Valentine's Contest and noticed I could not nominate my harem. I talked to the Awesome Man about it and we decided that it is way to difficult to decide on any one Charmer to be the queen, so I've decided I'm not going to choose. All of my ladies are spectacular and I wouldn't feel right just serenading one.

I also want to make sure you ladies know you are free to have other Valentines, especially if you want to take them to the party. I can understand wanting a little one-on-one time and you ladies are HOT so obviously other man cats are interested. You're all my Charmers no matter what and I'm oh so happy to call you My Charmers.


Faithfully,
Your Chase